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A Heart Full of Hope

I Wonder…

by Jennifer Toscano | Apr 30, 2020 | Faith | 3 comments

Savior, I wonder how many times you called out to me before I actually saw You for who you really are.  I wonder if you waited and watched patiently knowing some time soon I would recognize You.  Jesus, how many times did I hurt you by turning my back towards you, shutting you out of my life.   I wonder how many times you called my name before I had ears to hear. 

Creator, How many times did I look at a beautiful sunset and not acknowledge your artistry. Did you paint a beautiful scene right before my eyes to grab my attention and somehow I failed to see. 

Father, I wonder how many times I’ve come looking for your face and missed it completely.  You were standing right in front of me but I was too blind in my ways to see.  How many times have I come asking that You heal my hurting heart and not realize I am not handing over my whole heart.  I wonder if You stood there with with your arms opened wide and I never came. 

Lord, I wonder how many times You have wanted me to go one way and I went another.  How many times did I come holding on so tightly to the things You wanted me to let go of, how long did it take for me to loosen my grip.  How many times did I come with an ungrateful heart before I learned to value what You have given me.

Most High, how many times have you had your hand of protection upon me without me ever knowing.  Your army of angels surrounding me yet I am unaware. 

Jesus, how many times have I been lonely and needed someone and didn’t realize you were sitting right next to me.  How many times have I been rambling in prayer and did not hear that You just wanted to sit with me.  The words just flowing out without realizing Your presence was all I needed.

Holy Spirit, How many times has your still small voice spoken to me and I was too busy to recognize, how many times did you have to repeat yourself until I finally heard you?  How many times have I missed the opportunity to share of Your love.  Placing people in my life who need You and I was too scared to say anything at all and You waited for me to be ready and then gave me another try. How many times did you have to give me until I was finally brave enough to try?  How many times did I say hurtful words that did not reflect Your love and yet you still saw the goodness in me. 

O Lord, how many times have I missed Your goodness in my life?  I wonder, Lord of my heart, how could You never give up on me and love me as well as You do?

Photo by eberhard grossgasteiger on Pexels.com

3 Comments

  1. Sonny
    Sonny on May 14, 2020 at 1:11 pm

    Yes. His relentless pursuit of us always leaves me in awe. Even as He patiently continues to refine and redefine who I am within Him. Beautifully expressed.

    Reply
    • jennifertoscano
      jennifertoscano on May 23, 2020 at 1:25 pm

      Thank you for following along <3

      Reply
    • jennifertoscano
      jennifertoscano on May 25, 2020 at 9:56 pm

      Thank you sonny

      Reply

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There is only ONE name that can save. There is onl There is only ONE name that can save.
There is only ONE who defeated sin and death.
There is only ONE true God.
There is only ONE way to heaven.
There is only ONE who is worthy to open the scroll.

His name is Lord Jesus and He is the King of Kings,
He is the Lord of Lords.
No ONE is higher than Him.
No ONE has power like He does.
No ONE else is worthy of worship.
No ONE else is mighty to save.

He clothed Himself in humanity.
He came and walked among us.
He made His home within us.
He defeated the grave and rose to glory,
hallelujah and now He is seated at the right hand of God.

He is clothed in majesty and rainbows of jewels surround Him.
He is worshiped day and night by the angels and elders. He has crowns cast down in front of Him.
Holy, holy, holy is He.

He is the mighty Lion of Judah.
He is the Alpha and the Omega.
He reigns in supreme authority over all.

He is all together sufficient.
He is a consuming fire.
He is love, He is forgiving and merciful but He is also the God of justice and wrath.

He is the spotless Lamb of God who
takes away the sin of the world.
There is NO OTHER like Him.

He always was
and always will be
and He is coming again.

He will come like a thief in the night.
He will rapture His bride in the blink of an eye.
The earth is groaning for His return.
His people's hearts are eagerly awaiting His coming.

In Him is victory.
In Him is life.
In His is everything.

And one day every single person will bow before Him. There is not one who will not have to stand before Him. Every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that He is Lord.
There will no longer be a chance to choose Him.
There will be no way to stand before Him without the blood.

He will be seen in all His glory and He will make everything right once and for all.

Glory, hallelujah!
Our God will fulfill every prophecy ever spoken about Him. He will show us His glory!
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I know you're tired. I know you are discouraged. I know you're tired.
I know you are discouraged. 
I know you want to give up.

It feels like you can't keep your head above water.
The waves of life crashing around you, relentless.

I know you are tired of hearing neat little Christian phrases tied in a cute bow.

I know you feel angry and your heart feels hard towards God and His ways.

I know you don't understand what He is doing and many times I don't understand either.

I want to tell you I see you doing hard things.
I see you keep going even when you don't want to.
I want to acknowledge that life can be so hard and overwhelming.  Situations and seasons can be so difficult to walk through but what I know is true is that the pain you are feeling right now won't last forever, even though it feels like it will.

Things will shift.
Things will change.
Your heart will soften and by the grace of God you will still be standing.  He will help you walk through that which you thought was impossible.

And one day you will look back with tears in your eyes and cry out: thank you Lord, because you will see the whole time He was there with you.
He was always working.

I don't know when and I don't know how but I know that God will come through for you.
That's just who He is.
Just hold on a little longer.

1 Peter 5:10
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
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She runs into the open field, away from the scorch She runs into the open field, away from the scorching noon day sun. Her eyes search for a place to rest, a place hidden from the heat.
She finds a tall tree and sits down beneath it.
Her feet curled beneath her and her dress flowing in the breeze.

She closes her eyes and hears the chirping of the birds overhead. She feels perspiration drip down her neck. The land is dry and parched around her but she is satisfied like a stream of cool water.
Her spirit is at ease knowing she is hidden away in under the protection of her God. His love is a great canopy over her.

The flowers around her dance and the trees branches move in praise to His holy name.
Her heart is bowed low and she worships Him with
the beauty of His creation all around her.

Her eyes are fixed on Him but she doesn't even realize how much more His eyes are fixed on her.

He delights in the sound of her voice praying.
She brings joy to His heart as she sings.

He covers her with His grace and bends down
close to listen.

As she stops praying His Spirit begins to speak within her. She hears the rustle of the leaves, she sees the branches swaying but above all else she hears Him whispering:
"My child, I am never far."

Psalm 23:1
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
What you are facing will one day end. Your circums What you are facing will one day end.
Your circumstances will change.

I don't know what your "this" is
but it won't always be...but
what will remain is the Word of God.

It is unchanging.
It is eternal.
It is forever true.

Hold on to His Word in the midst
of whatever it is you are facing.
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